(And 5 Toys You Might Want to Suggest…)
It’s amazing how a simple little buzzing sound can strike fear into the hearts of grown men. And drain our masculinity in a split second.
As soon as she pulls out her favorite “toy” - or even hints that she wants to use it - insecurity hits. And the questions start: Why does she need that? What am I not doing right? Am I being replaced? And why did she have to get one that big!?
Calm down. She’s not leaving you for BOB. (Her Battery Operated Boyfriend.) On the contrary, it might be that she’s comfortable enough with you to show her wilder side. And start suggesting spicier stuff. (Lucky.)
To get some perspective on why you shouldn’t freak out when your sweet, innocent little lady decides to fire up her Orgasmatron 3000, I spoke with Olivia Hayes from The Pleasure Chest. They’ve been selling adult toys in their nationwide boutiques since 1979, and have insider knowledge when it comes to why women like toys. Here’s five good reasons why they say you shouldn’t be intimidated by her desire for a mechanical ménage à trois.
1 - Vibrators Do Not Provide Emotional Support. You can’t take a vibrator to your favorite bookstore. You can’t discuss with a vibrator whether to get a pizza or order Chinese takeout. You can’t wax philosophical on a hammock at the beach with a vibrator. Get the point?
2 - Size Isn’t Everything. According to Olivia, guys get hung up on size much more than women do - although it’s understandable: The average vibrator or dildo is about 7.5 inches, and the average guy, well, isn’t. But the important thing to remember is that old cliche: “It’s not the size of the boat you float, it’s the motion of the ocean.” So she’s not suggesting you’re too small to satisfy her. And keep in mind many of her favorite toys are not much bigger than her lipstick case.
3 - Most Toys Are Used For Enhancement, Not Substitution. Over the years The Pleasure Chest has helped hundreds of women and couples pick out sex toys. They’ve found people are generally looking to spice up or add to, not replace. Sex, in its pure form is like vanilla ice cream. It’s delicious by itself, but everyone likes a little chocolate syrup now and then. Sex toys can be that chocolate syrup. For that matter, chocolate syrup can be that chocolate syrup.
4 - Sex is More to Her Than Getting Off. If sex were only about the orgasm, then women would all go around getting their needs met by humping poles. (Gimme a sec while I try to get that picture out of my head so I can focus…) Women like to enjoy some build up before actually getting down to business - that foreplay she’s always talking about. And because vibrators and dildos have neither hands nor lips, that limits their ability for pre-sex satisfaction.
5 - Sex Toys Are Just Plain Fun. Typical toys for adults - sports cars, Blackberries, big screen TVs - rank a far second to the sheer bliss of sex toys. Think about it… toys created simply for the purpose of bringing you physical pleasure. The point is to have a good time, so if the woman in your life is suggesting sex toys, she’s looking for some mutual, physical fun. And who are you to say no?
Now that you’re more comfortable with the idea, here’s Pleasure Chest’s top five bestselling toys for couples… just in case you want to plan a big weekend:
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1 - The Liberator - This firm wedge looks totally innocuous when sitting on your bed, but watch what an asset it becomes when trying to prop and contort bodies into just the right positions. |
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2 - Laya Spot - With its candy-coated colors and ergonomic shape, The Laya Spot provides quiet yet powerful vibration to sensitive spots on both partners. It’s small enough to not be intimidating for first timers, but strong enough to help you get the job done. |
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3 - JO Massage Oil - Sex toys don’t always have batteries. This massage glide is silicone-based and condom safe, which means that the fun doesn’t have to stop with an erotic massage. This non-greasy glide leaves skin feeling silky smooth, and can also be used as a lubricant when things turn a little steamier. |
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4 - Remote Control Vibrating Panties - The perfect toy for an adventurous couple looking to really add some spice. She wears the panties, you hold the remote control. Erotic trips on the subway ensue, dinner parties become bearable, and otherwise boring errands become orgasmic. And the silent vibration means the secret stays between the two of you. |
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5 - Japanese Silk Love Rope Cuffs - Perfect for introducing a little restraint into a relationship. Silky yet strong ropes are connected with a small plastic piece, so there’s no risk of getting stuck in a compromising position. And soft rope means no weird wrist burn to explain at the office in the morning. |
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